Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…


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Open waters.

They aren’t always so clear. So when I get an obvious sign, I like to celebrate it.

I was thinking the exact same thing when he said, “I like to see the open waters.” I smiled and agreed. What was cold and white, frozen, just a couple of months ago, now rippled and danced blue under a changing sky.

I don’t know if nature is as silly as we humans. Suffering and fighting the cracks. Or does it simply release? They say we have to be cracked open, that’s where the love gets in. But each time it happens, I have a tendency to forget. Put up a struggle. And it’s not like my heart hasn’t been through the “winter months” before…found its way to spring…so why do I, we, fight it? I guess as with everything, we have to be in it to know. So for now, I will simply enjoy the water’s release into the new season. I will flow with the promise of spring and try to keep it in my memory — this nature of things.

Oh, to be open! To it all! Come spring! Cracks and all! I feel buoyant already!


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In love’s hold.

Ice will warn you. The crack that it sends up was always enough to send me running to the snow banked shore. But I still have to test it. I go on it. Every year. These frozen lakes of Minnesota. Maybe it’s the thrill of the improbable. That this water will hold. Hold me. 

I suppose it’s the same with people. Even warned and cracked, we go back in. Maybe this one will hold. This love. And sometimes you think how improbable — that you could be loved at all. Then one day, you find yourself standing on the same thin ice, year after year, with someone willing to embrace the improbability of it all, willing to test the hold, that you will love them, day after day, into each new season. 

And it’s not for the proof. Not, “if you really love me you’d….” No, that never works. There are no guarantees. And would we even want that? I don’t think so. The magic of being in love, with all of its flaws and cracks that ring out into the air, daring the daily hold together, this is nothing short of wonderful! 

I didn’t know, as we stepped out onto the ice, that they had renamed it, this Lake Calhoun to Bde Maka Ska. Google says it was to “alleviate the pain of that history and celebrate instead the dignity of those who originally named the lake.” Maybe we’re all trying to do that. It’s all so slippery underfoot, as we try to get it right. But again, maybe that’s where the love is, in the trying, the daring, the renaming, the doing better… the ever attempt in love. 

Out on the ice, we smile together, in love’s hold.