Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…


Leave a comment

The talking birds.

Some say it originated in the Bible. Others will say it came from Viking lore. Even Shakespeare has been given credit. But for me, I know exactly the first time I heard it, this saying — “…a little birdie told me…” — it was on the party line that I wasn’t supposed to be listening to, perched (not unlike a bird ironically) on my grandfather’s chair made out of an old tractor seat underneath the kitchen telephone. My grandma was talking to one of the neighbors about one of the other neighbors. I held my chubby hand over the mouthpiece, but my gasp was still audible when the neighboring party said, “Well, a little birdie told me…” I could hear my grandma both through the line and through the house – “hang up.” I did. And ran through the screen door in search of the talking birds.

The thing is, I couldn’t ask where these special birds were, because that would be admitting to the eavesdropping, so I had to wander the farm on my own. Tree by tree. I could hear them all right, but what were they saying? I climbed each apple tree to get a closer listen. I jumped, nearly falling off the branch when my grandpa asked what I was doing. “Listening to the birds,” I said. “But I don’t know what they’re saying.” He shook his head. “Do you understand them?” I asked. He shook his head yes. I exhaled. Deflated. “What do they say?” I asked him. “Whatever I need to hear,” he smiled and walked back to the barn.

To this day, it’s not about gossip, or telling tales, it’s about listening. Sure, some will say well it’s just your heart, your head, your soul, and maybe it’s true, but I hear them, the birds, while I’m walking, anywhere in this world. They always tell me whatever I need to hear. Telling me that everything is going to be ok, great even…and hand uncovering the mouthpiece, I thank them, and tell them, “I know.”

If you ask, ” How come you’re always going on about your grandfather? What did he give you that was so great?” “Wings,” I say, “He gave me wings.”


1 Comment

Sur la table.

It’s instinct now. I suppose I’ve done it for years, but for some reason I noticed it this morning. When making something on the stove, like this morning’s coffee, I have to tilt my head down and to the left. It’s no surprise that I’m taller than the last French generation, and the hood over the stove is a good reminder.

But I don’t really think about it. My head just seems to know, and makes the adjustment. Maybe it doesn’t sound like much, but what a marvelous creation — this brain!

This brain that worked for years and years processing one language. A brain that knew the signals and prompts. That navigated the grids and grins of one culture, now being asked to learn it all again, (and bend over a little if you don’t mind.) Even in the face of tears, and fears, and the I don’t want tos and the I cants, somehow it keeps going. Marvelous! And maybe it’s the heart that tells it so. Who can be sure who’s leading. That heart that got more than knocked by a kitchen corner and still keeps beating. So pained by love, still knowing there is nothing better. The heart that only smells the coffee brewing and looks forward to the day.

I mention it, not as a reminder of the struggle, but a reminder to give thanks. To take a moment and tell this brain, this heart — thanks for getting me here. For making the adjustments when life knocks us around.

I sit at the morning table. My cup is full.


1 Comment

All overmixed paint turns to brown.

You can see it in a painting. In a poem. When it’s just trying too hard. Overworked. Exhausted. It sucks the beauty right out of it.

I called her Grandma Lois. We weren’t related, but for the love of painting. She was hovering in her eighties. Still brush in hand. I offered my youth. She offered her experience. Our palettes combined. She told me the hardest thing for her had always been learning when to stop. To look at what she had painted and say, this is good – what I’ve created – it’s enough. To learn, and create again — that was the real beauty, she said. We smiled. Painted. Connected.

On canvas, I have learned this. It’s harder in real life. There are some people with whom you think, if I just tried a little harder, maybe if I was just a little brighter, better — if I was just more beautiful, inside and out, maybe they would see me. All overmixed paint turns to brown. Some people just won’t see you. And you have to walk away. Step aside and say, what I offered, it was enough.

Surround yourself with those who can see it. Can see you. In the purest, most simple strokes. Wow – to sit in that beauty – that beauty of being. Knowing your all, their all, is more than enough. Not gasping, just breathing. This, I think, is the art of loving, of living. This is good. This is beautiful.


Leave a comment

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I don’t know enough about it – (if anyone really does) – the laws of attraction, but things happen that make me curious…

I wrote a post featuring the painting of the woodpecker just a few days ago. The day that followed, I was sitting at my desk, like I do every day, the window open, and I heard this “tap, tap, tap…”  I kept typing, and again, “tap, tap, tap…”  I stopped and looked out the window. Dominique wasn’t in the yard. It was almost silent. I waited. Moments. And there it was again. This time I was able to follow the noise, in the tree. And there it was. Just as I had painted. We have a lot of birds. We have a lot of what we call “pic vert,” similar to the bird I painted, but different coloring – green, and they normally pick at the ground, not in the trees.  Did I attract this bird? Is this the law of attraction? Or did I just open my eyes and start seeing? I don’t have the answer for this… but either way I like it. 

Whether I attract positive things, or just start seeing them, it is something positive – and I want that. I want that for me, for all of us. I remember someone saying once (don’t judge me, but I think it was Oprah, and she probably wasn’t the first), that we have to pay attention, the signs often come softly, they aren’t going to be belted out with a choir! You have to really listen. 

I don’t know how many “taps” I have missed through the years, but I want to get better. Pay attention. See the signs. Find the beauty. And I suppose to hear them, I need to quiet the sometimes din (noisy clamor) of my brain. Not the easiest task, but I’m working on it. Quietly. 

I’ll whisper the last few words – I wish you a quiet day of beauty. It’s out there. Listen for the taps.