Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…


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Style unpurchased.

My mother took in ironing. Just being born, of course I didn’t have the words for it, or any words at all, but I think I knew. I could feel it, the warmth. Not the heat from the iron, nor the steam, but the balm of service done with grace. 

It wasn’t humility. She wasn’t lowering herself. She loved clothes. She needed the money. She tested the quality of the fabric between thumb and forefinger. She knew how it would behave. How to make the collar and cuffs respond, not with rigidity, but a wantful desire to frame a face, release a hand. When finished, she didn’t just exchange it for cash, she showed them how to wear it — not as a mannequin, but a woman with style unpurchased. And they knew it. That’s why they came back. They could have gone to the local dry cleaner on Broadway, but they returned to my mother, in the white house, near the end of Van Dyke Road.  

I watched her years later, doing it for herself, and I could still feel the hands that cupped the back of my head, marveling at the warmth against my resting spine. My mother took in ironing, and ever returned it with grace. 


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Your courage. Your coat. Your heart.

I left my winter coat in Minnesota. It’s tucked into the back of my friend’s closet. I used to leave it with my mom. I don’t really need it in France, but that wasn’t the only reason. It was more of a promise that I would come back.  And even more, that part of me was still there. 

It’s silly, I suppose, it’s just a thing. But it is a symbol of something much bigger. Because isn’t that what love is? This giving of a part of you. This leaving a bit of yourself with another. Trusting it is in good hands. In good heart. 

I had a conversation yesterday with a new friend. We spoke of vulnerability, why people are so afraid to share anything, even a simple comment. She said that some of her friends worry that it isn’t safe. If you’re looking for guarantees, here’s one for you — straight from Ernest Hemingway — “If two people love each other there can be no happy end to it.”  That is about as certain as you can get. But knowing it, you no longer have to worry about it. So go ahead and love. Leave it all behind. Your courage. Your coat. Your heart. In every place that you visit. In everything you touch. In everyone you touch. 

I find great pleasure in the fact that on any given day, if she needed to, she could wrap herself in my coat, in my friendship, in a bit of my heart. 

Maybe it’s a chance I take, daily, this sharing. This reaching out. Wanting to connect. To be a part of something bigger than myself. I know this for sure — my closet is full, and my heart keeps making space.