Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…


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In the word.

We went in search of seals along the coastline of Monterey, California, but instead I found myself back at the kitchen table of our house on Van Dyke Road. 

I was just a tween when I read it, John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men. I loved to read. I had been reading for years. First just moving my eyes along with my mother’s words. Then sounding them out by myself by lamp light. (I never had to hide under covers, my mother encouraged me to read.) But this was the first book, my first adult feeling book, my first read that made me climb the stairs from my bedroom, taking them two at a time because of the urgency to discuss this marvelous book with my mother. She smiled as she wiped the orange countertop with a dishrag. She knew the feeling. She was a voracious reader herself. She let me go on and on, not unlike Lenny I suppose, about each word. Each page. Each rabbit. My life has never been the same.

That conversation remained throughout her life. We would call each other after every book. From city to city. Country to country. The words kept us connected. She wrote notes on sticky pads. I wrote thoughts on my iPad. We gathered in between. 

We didn’t see the seals yesterday, but the romance of this coastline went deep. John Steinbeck helped for sure, but it was my mother that aided most in the authoring of my soul. 

We are given what we need, I suppose, when we need it. In the absence of seals, I visited my home.

You are part of my story, and it is beautiful.


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Of book and bird.

She could only read a page a day, the bird at the bookstore. Perhaps had she been able to turn the pages, she could have read more. She came every day and landed, not on, but near the book. She fluffed her feathers as bold as the words she imagined.

The exact day the store owner noticed her, she couldn’t be sure. She had no watch, no phone, no calendar. Just the angle of the sun. It glinted off the sidewalk’s tree, at the same time each morning and lit the way to the unlocking door of the bookstore. She watched him wheel his stack just under the shade. And she rested eager, smiling on the blue cover. He smiled back at her that one day. She was surprised he could see her turned beak, but he had, and he opened the book. Page one.

She returned each day to a new page. Pecked the words. Then nested them home. A month of words. A summer of chapters. They belonged to each other now.

Of course he had known loss. Everyone does. Perhaps that was the main reason he opened the bookstore. To connect.

In those sunny months of bird and book, a young girl was learning to read. She sat at the foot of the store owner. He read the words out loud, slowly, carefully. She followed along, raising her hand. Asking the questions. Eager for story. She noticed everything. Even the bird on the book.

“Is she reading?” She asked. “I think so,” he said. “Did you teach her?” “Not exactly…” he said, “some things we have to learn on our own.” “Then what did you do?” She asked. “Sometimes, you just have to help turn the page.” She smiled. They were all learning.


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When you crawl inside.

I can put anything in front of her. A whirring mixer. Splattering dough. The most tempting of cookies — made with a French butter that could lure the strongest of wills. Even steaming loaves of bread. But she doesn’t look up. So engrossed in her book. Dazzled by the words on the page. And I know, but for the dress and the hair, she is me.

I don’t remember not loving it, reading. It started with the Golden Books. Books I still have sitting beside me. And so rightly named, Golden, for they were treasures indeed. I suppose it was my mother who taught me, not to break the spine. To cradle them with care. “Use two hands,” she would say. “Why?” I asked. “You’ll need the support when you crawl inside.”

So that’s the way I read. Immersed. Just like she taught me. And that’s the way I love. Deep. Just as she loved me.

I boxed up some of the Christmas cookies that I made yesterday and gave them to the neighbor kids. I held them out with both hands. Their gasps of delight went deep. I can feel my mother smiling.


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This is better.

The walk of temptation was extraordinary for a five year old. My mom parked the Chevy Impala in front of Ben Franklin that Saturday morning. I could already see the candy through the double glass doors. My impatient feet jittered up and down next to the parking meter as she rummaged through the bottom of her purse for a quarter. I rolled my eyes as she pushed aside Kleenex and breath mints. “C’mon,” I would never say out loud, but released through the clenching and unclenching of my chubby fingers. The coin dropped and the red flag moved aside. We were free. I raced past the front cashier and stood in front of the penny candy. If I saw it today, with grown-up eyes, the square plastic bins stacked on an end cap, might not seem so magical, but then, oh, then, it was glorious! It was Tinkerbell’s wand waving over a colorful rainbow of sugar. I could feel my chin drop. “Wait!” I said as she led me down the aisle. “Can’t we just get a little bit..just one color even…just a piece of red…” “Next time,” she said, “We have better things to do.” Better things, I grumbled underneath my breath. Impossible, I thought. And dragged my bumper tennis shoes along. The aisle became stacked with toys. Beautiful, plastic covered toys! Yes, I thought. These must be the better things. I began to touch everything. I wanted it all. Or anything! Something pink and shiny! Please, I begged, perhaps out loud, or just with heart-reaching urgency. I felt her hand on my shoulder again. “Better…” she promised. It couldn’t possibly be, I thought. Yet, she had never lied to me. But here, in the center aisle of the Ben Franklin, I must admit, I had my doubts. We walked through the back door. A large pillared building stood in front of us. I began to near the grass, but she pulled me to the sidewalk. “You need to see all of it,” she said. We stood in front. The Alexandria Public Library. It was beautiful, but what was inside? “Books,” she said. “They give them to you. With just your name.” I could only breathe the word, “OHHHHH…” We walked up the stairs and opened the doors. “It smells like words,” I said. She smiled and led me down the stairs to the children’s section. I could barely move. Every spine, every cover, called to me. “Take your time,” she said. Each letter tugged at my sleeve until my arms were filled. I signed (printed) my name on the small mildewed card. My heart beat sugared from the inside. “Do you want me to help you carry them?” I shook my head no and carefully maneuvered myself and the precious cargo down the stairs. I started walking up the sidewalk. “Don’t you want to cut through?” she asked, pointing at Ben Franklin. “No,” I said, “this is better.” We walked the long way to the car. Books in hand, I held the keys to the kingdom.

“You are part of my story, and it is beautiful!”


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Youthful summer logic.

We didn’t have lawn furniture. We had blankets — old blankets that took their place beside the winter weary hanging coats and resting boots.

Laura Ingalls Wilder book in one hand and blanket dragging from the other, I told my mom I was going to read in the grass. “Haven’t you already read that one?” she asked. “Not outside, no,” I said racing through the screen door. She smiled, seeming to understand my youthful summer logic. 

I learned quite early on that the words took on new meaning outside. Let loose in the warm air, they wiggled like white winter toes set free. Bouncing in breezes. Flapping with wings. It seemed to me that I was returning the favors given by each book read in the trappings of the cold. Housed in the wintertime, they allowed me to climb inside each page. To travel without fear of inclement weather. So on these sun-filled days, it seemed only right that I would let those same words out. And the language they took on was magical. The voice of freedom. Maybe all things (and mostly people) tell a better story without restraints. 

Yesterday I finished reading the book Flâneuse,by Lauren Elkin, from the luxury of a lawn chair.  ‘Flâneuse [flanne-euhze], a noun, from the French, a form of flâneur [flanne-euhr], an idler, a dawdling observer. This is indeed a book made to be read outdoors. I wandered, and yes, even dawdled through each luxurious sentence.

I suppose my love, nor logic, has never lived indoors. I wish for you the same — words filled with so much meaning, they need open spaces. Lives filled with wandering paved and gravel paths. Loves so vast, so high that the birds envy and try to reach. Throw those curtains wide. Fling windows and doors. Step out into the wiggle of toes and heart. Breathe. The day is opening!


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Read. Rinse. Repeat.

Last night I finished the book, “Big little lies,” by Liane Moriarty.  Oooh, I want to say things, but the ride was so good because of the not knowing — so I’ll only say this, enjoy the ride.  


I am a reader.  I have always loved to read.  I love libraries and books and ebooks and magazines and well, things with words.  I love the smell of slight mildew on paper, getting so deep into a book that you’re almost wet. This escape, travel, immergence, I love it all, all the time.  


There is an art to the book review. I love listening to the New York times book reviews podcast.  They know how to review a book.  For real reviews, I recommend them.  As for me, I won’t give you the thumbs up, or likes, or ranking, I can only review a book by how much I miss it when I’m done reading it.  


I have been voracious this past year, and often lonesome.  If I must rank, I would have to say the book I miss the most is Hamnet, by Maggie O’Farrell.  Not since college has my heart and mind been cracked this wide open, where so much gets in and rattles around, and remains, a permanent jangling.  I remember sitting in the classroom, reading Shakespeare aloud, dancing about the textbooks.  What was this noise?…this ballet of words, straining muscles and stretching brain limbs. This is Hamnet. It will test you and bruise you and comfort you. It will leave you with a tiny little hole in your heart, the shape of a feather and a page.  If you like that, (which I do) (my husband thinks that sounds like pure torture), then open up Hamnet and break your heart. 

If you’d like to make some new friends this year, let me introduce the following.  I won’t review each one, but I will tell you that I really enjoyed our time together!


The Vanishing Half, by Brit Bennett

Bridge of Sighs, by Richard Russo

Bird by Bird, by Annie Lamott

Anxious People, by Fredrik Backman

Separation Anxiety, by Laura Zigman

Dear Edward, by Anne Napolitano

Chances Are…, by Richard Russo

Nothing to See Here, by Kevin Wilson

The Shakespeare Requirement, by Julie Schumacher

Every single book by Elizabeth Strout – I mean every single book – many times!

Writers and Lovers, by Lily King

Pretend I’m Dead, by Jen Beagin

Words between Us, by Erin Bartels

An American Marriage, by Tayari Jones

Meet Me at the Museum, by Anne Younson

Disappearing Earth, by Julia Phillips

The Most Fun we ever had, by Claire Lombardo

The Dutch House, by Anne Patchett

Fleishman is in trouble, by Taffy Brodesser-Akner

The Nickel Boys, by Colson Whitehead

The Editor, by Steven Rowley

This should get you started.  No time is ever wasted inside the pages.  Read anything.  Everything. Become a part of the story, your story. It’s beautiful!