It was the gym teacher at Central Junior High who put us through the rigorous exercises — making us into ducks she said. Somehow she saw the difference between our regular teenage faces and our confusion and explained that a duck looks calm and cool on the surface of the water, but is paddling like crazy underneath. Still no change in our faces. So what we want, she continued, is to work so hard now, paddle like crazy, so when we’re in the actual game it comes easily, looks so graceful and simple, because we did all the hard work. We nodded slightly, and waddled around the gym.

Now I can’t say we often carried the information of one class to another, but on this instance, 50 minutes later, in math class, it was Mr. Farley who said, “be sure to show your work.” I stared at the scribblings on the blackboard and thought, “so don’t be a duck.” 

The middlings of junior high were terribly confusing. All these choices and transformations. I pondered as I walked beside Lake Agnes on the way home. And there they were, waddling along, as if they knew all the answers. 

Yesterday in my bird sketchbook, I decided to paint a duck. I hesitated for a moment, going through another saying, “If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck…it’s probably a duck.” Brush in hand, I laughed because I thought, “Is it a bird though?” Oh, my ever paddling brain was in full view. 

It’s hard to know when to show all the work. When to just be quiet and do the job. Of course I get confused. We all do. But sometimes I think, the real victory is just to stay afloat. I may not always get it right, please pardon my paddling, but this duck can swim!