Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…


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Daring the hollow.

Saying goodbye to my friends on their recent visit, left a small empty space in my heart. Perhaps in the shape of a school, I thought. Because that’s where we first met. Where we first started to learn about each other. Behind books, buses and bleachers, we came together, with all of our common Minnesota sayings, and our distant uncommon dreams. (As the song says, we carried each other “from crayons to perfume.”) So when I really think about it, they have left a shape indeed, but it will never be empty. It is filled with all that I have seen of them, and they of me. I suppose that’s the risk of loving — to carve out this space for others, and daring it to be filled.

I mention it because it is the only way to describe how I felt after finishing the most recent book by Elizabeth Strout, “Tell me Everything.” This seemingly “hollow” of the final page, is actually filled with the most glorious flawed and fantastic people. Most will ask, “Well, what was it about?” I could no more answer this than if you asked me, “What is it like to have friends?” It is sweet and sad and funny, oh, so bending at the waist funny, and the same exact motion with tears — both with tears, I suppose, if you’re doing it right. All that tenderness. So still, if you need to know what it’s about — I would have to say about a two inch space carved into my heart, in the shape of Maine.

I place the book up on the shelf and think, “I had such a friend.”


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Lighthouses.

It sold almost immediately after she put it in the window of her gallery in Wayzata — this 4’ lighthouse painting. I suppose we are all looking for the light. We painters and sailors. We who bob up and down. Knocked over, then lifted, by the same waves.

I’ve always been a morning person. Everything seems possible in the morning. Everything lightened, not just in color, but weight. But, oh, that nighttime. That darkness. Oooh, that can really get away with me. I’ve always tried to fight it. But recently, I’ve tried something new. Not fighting, but challenging. Not going toe to toe with it, round and round with it in my brain. When those thoughts start creeping in, I acknowledge them. “I see you,” I say. “But not tonight. We can talk about it again in the morning if we need to.” It’s not a perfect system, but it seems to be helping.

I have always been up for a challenge. But rarely a fight. My grandfather taught me that in the fields. My mother taught me that in the trenches. Both houses of hope, of light.

I heard a line in a song once, “My heart is a boat on the sea.” That feels about right. So I keep riding the waves, toward the light. Hopeful for all the light to come. Grateful for all the shine I have been given.

The gallery was named The Good Life. How appropriate I thought, it is indeed. I woke to all of the possibilities coming through my window, and said to the sun, “Challenge accepted.”


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BIG HOUSE, LITTLE HOUSE, BACK HOUSE, BARN.

The farmsteads in Maine and throughout New England evolved over time as barns and other structures, including farmhouses, were built. Throughout the 1800’s, a unique layout of connected farm buildings developed, based on functional needs including shelter from the winter weather. They were referred to as Big House, LIttle House, Back House, Barn. This connection created greater comfort for the family as the farm grew.

The first time I visited, I fell in love with Maine. The color palette drew me in. A greyish blue sky, that held both the promise of sun, and rain. The guarantee of warmth and growth. The houses and barns, never thick with fancy, but filled with a gentle strength. Such beauty in the simplicity. I wanted that simplicity. That strength. Those connections.

To connect — I suppose that’s everything. Barn. To know the work, the hard, back breaking, “foot in each furrow” labor of living. Back house. To be forever welcomed through back doors, no matter how stained and weathered from the day. Little house. To rest in the comfort and familiarity of the ordinary. Big house. To celebrate the grandeur of the extraordinary!

Big House, LIttle House, Back House, Barn — a world away, I wander through each on a daily basis, giving thanks, knowing that I am home.