Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…

Tag Archives: see people


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Seeing blackbirds.

I was shocked when she said it. I couldn’t believe my ears. I looked at my mother, who couldn’t hide her surprise either. What did she say? We were riding in the car together with my sister-in-law’s mother. Headed to some sort of family event that had spread to include a good portion of this small town. We were discussing the family tree. She asked about one of my mom’s brothers. Surely she couldn’t be thinking of Uncle Tom, I thought. “Oh, yes!” she continued, “he’s so handsome!”

No disrespect to my Uncle Tom. But this is not how he had been branded to me. He was the rough one. Tough one. Bold. Straight talking. Intimidating? Sure. Colorful? Indeed. And I guess, once we’re presented with something, we often stop looking, as if this were the only answer. 

After the event I went home and looked at the family portrait. I guess he was handsome. Huh! I wonder if he knew. I hope so.

I love to paint birds. You might think the colorful ones offer the biggest in painting lessons, but for me, that’s not really true. The black bird is a beauty that really forces you to see. Because to create the deep richness of the black, you have to see all the other subtle colors. The blues. The grays. The taupes. And browns. There is no depth without these other colors. And with no depth, there really is no beauty. 

But where does the responsibility lie? Within whom? Is it up to the person to show you their true colors? Or the viewer to see it? I suppose it’s both. And this is not a hardship – no, this is something! Because when you look, and you see it, it makes you feel special — you are allowed into all the beauty. You get to see beyond the shadowed wings of the blackbird and watch the glorious flight. You get to see beyond the expletives of your uncle’s mouth. Beyond the overalls and slight smell of cow, and think, wow, he really was handsome.  

I have been flawed. I haven’t always seen what is right in front of me. But I’m learning. I’m trying to do better. Be better. And like the Blackbird song says, “Take these broken wings and learn to fly…”

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Toasted marshmallows

My grandmother walked comfortably in her skin.  Skin that was stretched a little more horizontally than vertically.  Skin she donned in aproned dresses and comfortable shoes. 
She was tall to me when I was a child. Sturdy. Sure. I clung to her side, bashful and uneasy. We walked into Jerry’s Jack and Jill, the small grocery store near the end of Broadway. She picked a cart and began down the first aisle. I gripped the cart beside her hand. She stopped almost immediately.  “Ooooo….” I knew this sound – it meant she liked something she saw. She grabbed the plastic bag filled with toasted marshmallows. One of her favorites. “Grab those,” she said. I put a bag in the bottom of the cart. “No, up here.”  She placed them in the top part of the cart where a child would sit.  She opened the bag.  “Grandma!” I screamed. 
“What?” she asked.
“You can’t do that.” I claimed.
“Oh, it’s fine…”
“But it’s stealing.”
“I’m going to pay for them. It’s fine.”
“But -“
“Oh, they know me.”
We walked around the store. Filled the cart. Past workers and shoppers in aisle. “Oh, hi, Elsie!” I heard again and again, but no one said a word about the marshmallows that were disappearing from the cart.
We got to the check-out and the first thing she placed on the counter was the empty bag. The clerk gave her a wink and rang up the bag.  They did know her. Everything was fine.
It seemed so easy, so normal. And I Ioved the way her chubby frame glided like Ginger Rogers, backwards through this small town.  She made no selfies, no tweets, but she lived out loud. And people knew her.
Yes, this was a small town. But aren’t they all, really. If you back up and look at us, on this planet, as humans, we are specks, delightful specks, but all living in our small communities – be it Minneapolis, or Paris. How do we not know each other? We must know each other. Know ourselves. If we can do this, we can do better. Much better.
I surpassed my grandmother’s height years ago, but she is still so very tall to me.  Take a look around. It’s an amazing world, with amazing people. “OOOOOOOh!”  “Yes!”  If we can see it, see each other, everything’s going to be fine.