Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…


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Of heart, thought and time.

I have been guilty of it for sure. Waving things off. “It’s not that important.” Certain that another chance, another opportunity, another life bus, another Tuesday — all will be just around the corner. And I’ll get that chance. And I won’t miss the next opportunity, I promise myself. And I’ll be slower to anger. More quick to act. Love deeper. I’ll give it the attention, the weight it all deserves… won’t I?

I suppose just being aware of it is a start. But I like to give myself reminders. I bought a wax sealer earlier this year. It made me more excited about the hand written letter. Not that I will write the treasures that I have been given. Not that the recipients will save them. Not like I have saved the envelopes written from my mother and grandmother. But maybe they’ll know, in the moment, in that one moment, that I did take the time. To write slowly. In ink. Without word prompt, or spell check or “undo” — I thought of them. I heated the wax and sealed the letter and walked it to the post office. None of that weighs more than an international stamp will carry, but I think it has weight. Weight of heart and thought and time. What more do we really have to give?

I saw it yesterday in the Antique Mall. A small scale. A huge reminder. One like I had never seen before. A little brass device to weigh letters, and to hold the stamps. Small enough to fit in my suitcase. It will sit on my desk. Telling me, on this day, give it all the weight it deserves.


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The light of the stamp box.

As the receptionist of Independent School District 206, my mother was first voice, first impression to the learning institution of Alexandria, and one might say even the town. She knew everyone’s extensions on the switchboard. She knew their voices. Their quirks. Whether you were a new teacher fresh from university eagerly looking for housing, or an impatient parent angrily wondering why a little snow could possibly close the schools, or a student asking if the buses were going to be an hour late, what time would that be exactly — she was the first responder. Watching her, this, for years, of course I was impressed. And the fact that she did it with such style, made me admire her all the more. 

As I began to learn cursive writing, I knew my world would open. For me, it meant I could write letters. My mother told me that when I had conquered the curves, we could take some of that hard earned ISD 206 money and buy stationery and stamps. I took home the three-lined paper from Washington Elementary and practiced each night. It was during a conference day. Instead of staying home alone, I sat in the velvet chair next to her desk. She opened the drawer to get a pen. I knew it was a pen, because she had that confidence — no need for a pencil and an eraser. She told me to come around to her side of the desk. The drawer still open, she pointed to the small green tin. Open it, she said. It was filled with stamps and loose change. I didn’t care about the money of course. All I could see were those beautiful stamps. And she was in charge of them — of the world that awaited me.  The light shone a little brighter through the plate glass windows of the superintendent’s office, and rested over my mother’s head. 

Through the years we would share more secret drawers, mostly of the heart. I was always surprised when she told me that she wanted to be brave, to be strong. Of course my brain understood. But my heart never saw anything differently . For me she always shone in the light of the stamp box. She held the gentle power to open my world, and release me into it. I walk in that light still. Some days I am tripped and misled by the curves, but the light, the light never dims.

Lights will guide you home.


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Proper nouns.

We learned pretty early on the power of words. We began writing letters to each other during our summer vacations from grade school. Living in the same town, armed with banana seat bikes and endless sunny days, we easily rode to each other’s houses, to the beach, to main street in downtown Alexandria, but still we felt the need to connect. 

This gift that we had been given in the first grade strengthened with each letter written. Straight from the playbook, I wrote thank yous for birthday parties. Recaps of “events” attended and unattended. Who did what, said what, to whom. Wrote in solidarity of mutual enemies — never capitalizing their names because as Mrs. Bergstrom had stated, we capitalize the proper nouns to show their importance. We capitalized our friends’ names. 

It would be easy to say that we had more time then. And as hard as it is for me to admit, we have the same amount of time. Always have. Always will. It’s just how we choose to fill it. I want to get better in my choices. Capitalize on the goodness. Forget the things that aren’t really all that important — the things that don’t deserve my, our, full attention. Focus on the “thank-you”s. The “it’s great to be your friend”s. Knowing that it is worth the repeat. The writing down. The chronicling. How spectacular it is to have support. To have encouragement. To have combined laughter. To have shared experience. To have friends!  

I’m writing to you this morning. Every morning. It’s great to be your Friend!