Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…


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Hello.

I don’t know them, the people with the US mailbox, but I nod in the direction of their house each day when I walk by — my acknowledgement traveling over the bush that lines the road, the iron gate, up the tree-lined gravel driveway, past the sleeping dog that can’t muster a bark in the heat, and the aloof cat (that won’t admit it is our gate she will be sleeping on later, just because she can), up the three stairs to the screen door, and on a long awaited breeze whispers, “Hello in there.” 

We barely even get mail anymore. I used to see the mail car pass when I was out walking. Now I never do. But the mailbox still connects us — the mailbox that stands hopeful for connection. Ready to give an open mouthed “Ohhhhh” when it does! And I suppose it’s not really the box at all, but the feeling. Perhaps we all know that desire to connect, to gather in, with words and hearts and gesture. Someone is always reaching out, saying, “Does anyone else feel this way?” And it doesn’t take much. We worry about doing the right thing, saying the right words, so we do nothing at all, when all it really takes is just an acknowledgment, a simple heart nod to say, “I’ve been on this road before, hello…”

We are only as strong as our connections.


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Of heart, thought and time.

I have been guilty of it for sure. Waving things off. “It’s not that important.” Certain that another chance, another opportunity, another life bus, another Tuesday — all will be just around the corner. And I’ll get that chance. And I won’t miss the next opportunity, I promise myself. And I’ll be slower to anger. More quick to act. Love deeper. I’ll give it the attention, the weight it all deserves… won’t I?

I suppose just being aware of it is a start. But I like to give myself reminders. I bought a wax sealer earlier this year. It made me more excited about the hand written letter. Not that I will write the treasures that I have been given. Not that the recipients will save them. Not like I have saved the envelopes written from my mother and grandmother. But maybe they’ll know, in the moment, in that one moment, that I did take the time. To write slowly. In ink. Without word prompt, or spell check or “undo” — I thought of them. I heated the wax and sealed the letter and walked it to the post office. None of that weighs more than an international stamp will carry, but I think it has weight. Weight of heart and thought and time. What more do we really have to give?

I saw it yesterday in the Antique Mall. A small scale. A huge reminder. One like I had never seen before. A little brass device to weigh letters, and to hold the stamps. Small enough to fit in my suitcase. It will sit on my desk. Telling me, on this day, give it all the weight it deserves.


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Holding everything dear.

We don’t get a lot of mail. To be honest, the mail carrier rarely slows down in front of our gate. So yesterday, when I saw the glimpse of white through the slot, it was already a surprise. But then to see my name…this was something! Not only had the letter traveled across the ocean, it transported me back in time to when I was six.

It was never lost on me, this beginning each letter with “Dear,”  — because certainly it must be, I thought. From the moment Mrs. Bergstrom taught us the salutation, all I wanted was to write a letter, and what would it be like, (I barely could let myself think of it) to receive such a letter…to know that you were in fact, dear. 

I don’t recall the cost of stamps. I barely understood the value of money, other than the quarter I received each Thursday for doing my weekly chores. I’m sure it didn’t come as a surprise when I told my mom that I wanted to forgo my allowance until I had enough to buy some stamps. She smiled and opened her purse. She unlatched the coin pocket and pulled out a stamp. She was glorious, I thought (and that didn’t come as a surprise either)!  

Not fully understanding how it worked, I wrote my first letter to the one I found most dear, sealed the envelope, licked the stamp, put it in our mailbox and raised the flag. It was the only address I knew, having memorized it before riding the school bus for the first time. I watched the mail carrier pull up to the boxes in front of our house. He put the car in park so he could retrieve the letter. He looked at the address, then saw me out of the corner of his eye. He smiled. Put down the flag. And placed the letter back in our mailbox. 

I paced the driveway nearly the entire afternoon waiting for my mom to return from work. She stopped at the mailbox, pulled the envelope to her chest, and before opening, she knew she was dear. 


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Heart strings.

She sent a picture of the Kentucky Bourbon Balls she made yesterday. It was after our first trip to Kentucky this year that I made them. And instantly I was in love. Well, what’s not to love? Sugar! yes! Pecans! yes! Bourbon, chocolate, yes, yes!!! So I wrote a story. Took the pictures and passed it on to my little world. She, seeing, feeling this love, decided to make them for herself. We are connected in so many ways, but once again, yesterday, we, from across the sea, were gathered in.


You never know what it will be that connects us. But I’m a firm believer in throwing out a lot of heart strings, hoping, knowing that some will attach. And when they do — oh, how delicious!!! Because that’s really all we have, all we are, these connections. They give us strength, purpose, joy, the ability to live, more importantly the reason to live.
I’m reaching out again today. I know you are out there. I can feel it. The strings of my heart whisper yes. Yes!

We are only as strong as our connections.