Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…


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Roadrunner.

I spent every Saturday morning in front of the television set (and it was a piece of furniture then). Not too close of course, because we still believed, or were told, that we would go blind. Still in pajamas, I sat cross-legged on the carpeted floor. With each cartoon, I leaned forward. Closer. Nearly bent in half. My belly resting on my legs. My head in my hands. Still remaining in the safety zone, but believing I could will the roadrunner just out of reach from the coyote. And I always did.

All the glorious colors of Saturday morning danced in my head and made their way to my feet as we walked (me almost skipping) the Saguaro National Park. Having the luxury of living beyond the “fashion” of camouflage, I was well aware that actually seeing one of the animals they posted would be a stretch. So far I had only seen a woman in full Lycra step out of the shade of the sign posting “beware of the javelinas.” The timing was perfect. I could feel my mother’s wink from heaven and we both began to laugh. It was near the end of the trail, maybe only 20 feet from the car, when I saw it. My finger pointed as if to shout. I could hear the people behind me say, “She’s pointing out something.” Then the people in front of me, saying the same. A roadrunner I whispered, but pointed more loudly. And when it moved, they saw it. My first thought was not to grab my phone, but give thanks that I had remained five feet away from the television set. I hadn’t gone blind! (Those behind me probably sat too close.) I smiled and took the photo. I could hear the beep-beep (or was it meep-meep) in my head.

Sometimes, I think it’s all going too fast. It feels like time’s coyote is right at my heels. But in the glorious moments when I catch myself between decades, one foot on VanDyke Road and one foot in the desert, or even a country away, I can gather it in, and I slow it down, lean in just a little closer, and give thanks for all that is to be seen.

Let me always see the gift.


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Why not Milwaukee?

It was the first thing I noticed about the sitcom, Laverne and Shirley. “She makes her cursive “L”s just like you!” I told my mom. Laverne wore her loopy “L” on all of her clothing, not that far from where my mom and I wore our hearts on our sleeves — always looking for something, someone, to connect.

I haven’t thought about them for years, these two fictional bottle cappers from Wisconsin, but then I had the dream. It was just a couple of nights ago. My grandma was the first to bring it up. She said, “I’m going to go with her to Milwaukee. I want to be together.” I looked at my mom. She explained that she had to go to Milwaukee. No one asked why, we just seemed to know. “I’m going to come too,” I said. (I have always been a come-with gal.) They both smiled, knowing we would indeed be together, no matter what, no matter where. Because heaven could be anyplace, why not here?

I saw the yellow sticky note this morning in my mother’s handwriting. The red loop of the “L” beat against my sleeve. My heart is full. I am dressed in the ones I love.

“On your mark, get set, and go now, got a dream and we just know now, we’re gonna make our dream come true. And we’ll do it our way, yes our way! Make all our dreams come true, for me and you!”