Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…


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Those Pacific Coast Cows!

I guess somewhere between Washington Elementary and my grandparents’ farm I must have learned it. It does sound like something my grandpa would have said, between sparring cousins or in front of an unyielding field  — that life simply wasn’t fair. But I suppose it was the luxury of being loved enough that allowed me not to think about it that much. I knew what I had, what I have, and it was more than enough. 

I mention it only because I saw them yesterday, the cows at the beach. The most gorgeous views in front of them. 77 degrees and sunny. It made me laugh, wondering if my grandpa’s cows ever knew, ever gave them a thought, shook a hoof in the air and thought, “those Pacific coast cows….!!!!!” As ridiculous as it sounds, we humans do that every day. Fisted hooves! Shaking. 

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, the answer seems to still be  — love.  If you are loved enough — and I mean both giving and receiving it — then maybe someone’s extra five minutes taken at lunch time won’t really matter to you. Maybe someone’s good fortune could be celebrated instead of envied. Someone’s win wouldn’t be your loss. I don’t know. I suppose you could say, well, it isn’t fair, your mother loved you… and that would be true. I am still heart-deep in that luxury. When it comes to my husband, my family, my friends, I am wandering in a grassy field beside the ocean. I know this. All I can do is give thanks and return the love. 

The view from gratitude is pretty spectacular.


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Navigating the pristine.

It happens every time we visit a museum or castle. The pristine grounds will be marked with “keep off the grass” signs (in multiple languages). With the large crowds navigating on sidewalks or paths, inevitably, there is always one person, grinning from ear to ear, certain they are the only person who was smart enough to get this camera perspective. So proud as they stand firm, unknowingly, next to the warning sign. Now I get it, sometimes the language barrier can be tricky, and I never blame children, but most of us possess the awareness to in fact “keep off the grass.” 

The thing is, we learned it right from the start, didn’t we? I remember Mrs. Strand was the first — our kindergarten teacher. And even when Mrs. Podolski replaced her mid year so she could go have her twins, it continued — this identifying the child seated in the next desk as a “neighbor.” Papers were hung next to our neighbors’. Our cubby holes were kept clean out of respect for our neighbors’. We stood in line at the drinking fountain with our neighbors. Marched out calmly in fire drills. Went to lunch. Whispered in the library. Climbed through times tables. Always beside our neighbor. 

Maybe I noticed it because I loved our house neighborhood on VanDyke Road. I loved the people. I loved knowing whose screen door was always open. Whose house wouldn’t mind an extra bike abandoned in the driveway. I even loved Mrs. Muzik’s yard with the pristine grass that we weren’t allowed to run through — because she, too, was our neighbor. And that meant something.

Today, we have the possibility to connect with more people around the world. And I am grateful for these connections. Truly. But I see how some communicate with each other. Trampling over each other. It shocks me still. I understand that things change. Washington School is filled with condos. They paved over the familiar gravel of VanDyke Road. But aren’t we still neighbors? I’d like to think so. I will go on thinking so, as I navigate the pristine. 


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With all those who dare.

I must have thrown myself down the grassy slope of our house on Van Dyke Road a million times. Maybe it was aided by winter’s covering of snow, but our summer grass was always lush. A carpet of green.Safe for toes and hands. Welcoming of backbends let go and fallen cartwheels. I could tuck and roll, and only feel the tickling of blades.

I was living free from context. All was as presented, until it wasn’t. I remember the day perfectly. It was just as the day before.  The sky blue. The sun yellow. The green sprouting between summer-free toes. And I was pushed down that hill. It’s funny how something can happen so fast — your world changing in an instant — and yet, it all seems in slow motion. That same glorious grass felt sharp and so unfriendly. I remember thinking with each unstoppable roll, “you used to love me.” 

It took me years to get it back. I carried that unwanted knowledge for decades. I suppose I still do. I suppose we all do. But it’s ok, because I figured out a way, on the most welcoming still of summer days, to let it go, lay it beside me. Rest it in the supportive grass. The grass who was never to blame. And trust the freedom of greening giggles. Trust myself. Trust the day. Trust those standing beside me with wiggling toes, those, too, laying their knowledge down in order to trust. 

The grass grows thick with all those who dare. Welcome to the garden.