Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…


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Knee deep enthusiasm.

For my thirteenth birthday my mother gifted me a set of starter golf clubs purchased from the Sears catalog. No one in our family golfed, that I knew of…but that never stopped me before. Neither had they painted a picture, nor written a poem, so the ship that housed the fear of the unknown had already sailed, and I made my way to the golf course. 

She could afford the junior summer membership at Arrowwood. Not a second of which could be wasted, she picked me up on her 30 minute lunch break and drove me to the course, slowing down the light blue Chevy Malibu station wagon just long enough for me to drag the emerald green cotton golf bag from the rear, loaded with six catalog clubs. 

I knocked my way solo from tee to woods to pond to green. Smiling with each stroke under the summer sun. On the weekends, if she wasn’t too tired, or mostly I suppose, even if she was, she walked the nine holes with me. And even when my ball ended with a splash or a ricochet, she marveled and said, “I can’t believe you hit it that far!” And she was the first in pond or forest to retrieve my short supply of balls. 

I think of it, her, as I struggle with my morning French lesson. If today were a golf course, I would be momentarily demoralized by my working class swing, that is, until I see her, and I do see her, her knee deep enthusiasm from the pond, hand raised overhead with ball, yelling, “I’ve got this! You’ve got this!” What can I do but keep trying! I, we, in everything we do, owe it to those who came before us, who walked beside us — we have to keep trying!  


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The magical gifts.

It was on the par three seventh hole at the Alexandria Country Club, the vending machine. It took two of the three quarters I earned each week for cleaning the house to buy a Gatorade. There was only one flavor then (or should I say color?) It was hot under the summer sun. And I wasn’t allowed in the clubhouse, like most of the girls I was playing with. I was on a summer “local youth” pass, but that pass ended with the final hole. I carried my green bag of five clubs and sat in the parking lot, waiting for my mother, finishing my Gatorade. For me it was the taste of “I still belong here.” It was the taste of “I still won.”  It was the taste of “my mother is coming soon, and she loves me.” 

Maybe it had that power, or maybe I gave it that power, so on the days when I couldn’t quite get there myself, I let it take me. Carry me. And I am grateful for all of it.

Would I have believed in the magic, if I hadn’t washed the mirrors, wiped them with a newspaper for that no-streak shine, to earn the quarters, to buy the drink, to sit outside the clubhouse? Maybe. I don’t know. But I’m so happy I did it. Because I carry that magic still. From state to state. Country to country. 

Yesterday at the Walgreen’s in Tuscon, after hiking in the National Park, I bought two yellow Gatorades. I still live in the magic. It’s where I belong. 

I, we, barely more than air, hold the most magical gifts.