Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…


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By name.

I didn’t really need a scientist to tell me, but the confirmation felt nice. I’ve been naming things for years. The trees in the garden. Favorite spoons. T-shirts. Cups. Not to mention people. My mother always had a special nickname. My grandma too. I suppose because as that person — the one I named — the one that when called from my lips, turned in the sea of Hvezdas or the girth of Herbergers, and existed only for me. 

I was listening to a podcast yesterday. It was this scientist, this expert on identifying species, that said it — “Nothing exists until we name it.” I repeated it over and over in my head, until I could hear the sound of my mother voice… the shortened version on the message, “Hi Jod…” The longer version when it was all heart. The lilt of it when I could feel her pride, telling someone about a painting, a book. I can hear every version still. I can name it. And the love exists. 

I was painting birds while listening to the podcast. A page full of pink. The pink made me think of Barbie. I found just the song to accompany the short video of the collection. In it, the singer says, “Hey, Barbie.” I knew I had to send it to my friend. I thought she would like it, get a smile, but what she heard was her own mother calling her. Maybe that’s not scientific proof, but it’s more than enough for me.

What are we here for, if not to make things personal? It’s all personal. And I want to feel everything. Listen. Look. Love. And call it all by name. 

Hey, Barbie.


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…by any other name.

I was pretty sure that I misheard her the first time, but it was clear upon returning to the vineyard that the woman behind the counter thinks my name is Goat. 

I can’t see what is listed on the computer, but she always asks for my email to pull up our account, an uncomfortable pause follows, and then she  says, “aaaaaaah, Goat…” I try to smile while I repeat “Jodi,” both pretending now that we’re saying the same thing. Yet the transaction continues and we go home with the most delicious wine in our area. Is it the “Greatest OAll Time”? — I don’t know, but apparently, I am. 

It used to upset me. People rarely get my non-French name here. But I think it says more about me than them. I was on unsure ground, so easily rattled. The years haven’t really changed them, but I find myself stronger every day. And isn’t it the way with all belief? With strength? Possibly even greatness? It has to come from within.

Maybe everything is about timing. Watching Simone Biles displaying her gold medals, explaining how she wears her goat necklace proudly, I smile and think, me too, and pour another glass of wine.