Ever since Erma Bombeck told my mother (along with her million other readers) to burn the candles, I, too, have tried not to “save for something special,” but instead see it in the very moment.

As a practice, it has become so much easier through the years. Trying to remove the judgement of “deserving,” — because this is an impossible standard. Taking out the worthiness, and exchanging it for gratitude, works a little better for me. Maybe I deserve the two new brushes I bought the other day, but thinking that way makes me hesitate. Should I wait for the special painting? Is my panel worth? Am I worthy? That’s dangerous territory, especially if the answer is yes. Instead, yesterday, I pulled off the plastic cover, felt the new smooth of ready, and smiled, feeling lucky that I did indeed have a new brush and a free afternoon — this in itself was “something special!”  

I began Erma-ing my way across the panel. Is it newsworthy? Again, not for me to decide. I only mention it because it felt, you know, kind of special.