When my legs were short, and perhaps my faith in them as well, my brother put me on scooter, one he had made in the shed behind our house. A junkyard production, it was thick and heavy, but it ran, ran strong. There was an empty field beside our house on VanDyke road. Full of weeds and a possibility yet unseen. I don’t know if he had just filled the tank, but the scooter seemed unstoppable, so I circled the field. He left me in that field, and years went by. My legs, too short to touch the ground, I wasn’t sure how I could get off of this ride. I circled. The sun burned my shoulders, and the engine never sputtered. It became clear to me that I was going to have let it fall, let myself fall. Truth be told, I wasn’t going a lot faster than downhill on a bicycle, but there was fear. Fear of the unknown. I would have to let go. I would have to fall. They say follow your heart, like it knows, and I prayed it did. I let go the handles and jumped. The scooter spun for a minute in the grass and dirt, and died. If I had ever recovered faster from a fall, I can’t remember when. I lept to my feet immediately. Grass stained and a little scraped, I began to run. Never had my legs felt so light, so sure. I ran and I ran. Nothing but joy.
Sometimes, when you run, people think you’re running away. And that may be partially right…but sometimes you’re trying to get to somewhere…get to a place that will fill your soul with a love that has been waiting just for you, and a forgiveness that doesn’t care how you got there.
It’s easy to get stuck in someone else’s life. You can get trapped in a relationship, a job, a town, an assumption. But there’s a way out. It may be messy, even painful, but there’s a way. Your heart knows it.
My brother built a life for himself in a shed behind our house. It is strong, and for him, it runs well. I built a life for myself, trusting in the “last chance texaco” of my heart (it has always saved me), and I left.
I am not running away, but joyfully running along. My heart’s tank is full, fueling my legs and my faith. This truly is my somewhere, and man, it is something!!!!
