Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…


Leave a comment

Chateau du Seuil.

Long ago I wrote “On the days that I can’t create something beautiful, at least let me have the wisdom to see it.” I suppose the same goes for peace. 

She’s the first thing I see each morning. I sit on the side of the table that faces her. In the painting, she sits behind her easeled art, within her book, and all is calm. I know this place. Whenever anxious, they are my two safety zones — holding the brush, or cradling the words. The bang of my heart quiets to a whispered beat, and I am saved.

It’s why I like the French words for not worried — it translates to pas inquiet (Inquiet means un quiet, or disquiet, a lack of peace.) So to be “pas inquiet” is to not be worried, to sit in this glorious peace. 

Before I had the words, I had the tools. And on the days when I find myself in the chaos, I do have the wisdom, or at least the opportunity, the reminder, to see it — the place where my heart can rest and my mind can wander. 

But it does deserve attention. It needs to be fed. Acknowledged. Yesterday, after baking the bread, we rode the waft of its scent to the vineyard that produces our favorite olive oil. It bears the taste of olive and earth, so pure, that when poured on the grains of the bread, placed on the back of the tongue, your eyes can only give way to the wave and roll to the back of your brain, the threshold, the most quiet place where gratitude lives, where worry cannot find its way.

And so I, we, begin the day, without a bang, in the beauty of this glorious peace.


Leave a comment

Out wandering.

“If we opened people up, we’d find landscapes.” Agnes Varda

I cannot pass a golden field in any country, without thinking of my grandfather. The breeze that blows through the harvest to come is the breath of hard labor and kindness.

I was 19 when he got pancreatic cancer. They cut him in half to assess the damage. They closed him almost immediately. When I saw the row of staples, I couldn’t imagine they couldn’t see something — something that could be salvaged. Clung to. Some hope. Because that’s what I imagined beneath the scar. This was the landscape I knew lived within him. A field that had turned from brown to green to gold. A yearly harvest to be counted on — this, I knew for certain, was inside my grandfather. A landscape I carry still today.

We went to visit Dominique’s mother at the cemetery. She rests between two vineyards. We stopped at each one. Tasting the white. The rosé. The red. Delicious. What a fitting landscape for her. The vine that doesn’t end. From the work of the fields. To the joy of the table. The French landscape I will carry too, within.

We’re not always given the answers. But we’re always shown a way. If you look for me today, be patient. My heart is wandering landscapes.


Leave a comment

Beyond all labels

It doesn’t surprise me when I start speaking that people recognize immediately that I’m not French. I mean, I hear it too. But what does surprise me, and it has happened many times, is when people ask if I’m American before I even open my mouth. What is it? It doesn’t make me feel bad, I’m proud to be an American…but what is it about me that people see as different?

I guess we all wear our history, without even knowing it. So I’m thinking, if I can’t even identify it in the face I see every day in the mirror, what makes me so certain I can identify it in others. It’s time to look beyond the label.

I painted the American-made wine years ago. What I remember is not the label, but the evening. I was with my publishers/friends in my living room. The warmth of the candles. The greater warmth of the conversation. I was home. Years later I painted the French-made wine. We bought the bottle of wine from a small vineyard, and a vintage frame from the same village. It was an intimate adventure. New, and familiar. I wanted to capture it on canvas. In my studio, I painted the bottle. I was home.

Is it too spot on to say it’s what’s inside? I don’t think so.

No matter where we are, I suppose, we are all on a journey — a constant journey home. That feels comforting to see it — beyond all labels – in the hearts of others – and the one that beats inside.

Cheers!