I don’t imagine I thought so at the time, but one of the best gifts my hometown gave me was one channel. Channel 7. No time was wasted chasing the choice. I didn’t even have to turn on the television to know the programming. The schedule was memorized. The options were clear — this lucky number seven, or outside. Most of the time I chose the latter. 

We have special names for it now. People make vision boards. Read The Secret. Fill their planners. I smile, because I think we knew it all along. These laws of attraction. On Van Dyke Road there was an empty lot next to Dynda’s. To start of game of softball, or kickball…any kind of ball… one didn’t run from house to house slamming on screen doors, or calling out names. All you had to do was go to the field. Bring your ball. One by one, (or faster if the Norton girls came all at once), the ditch would be filled with abandoned bikes and the grass with players. We were well advanced of the “if you build it, they will come.” 

I mention it only to remind myself, and maybe you. What is I want? How do I want to spend my time? And with whom? 

I met my cousins for the first time at my grandparent’s farm. I wanted them to like me, so I ran after them. Nipped at their heels. They screamed. Cried. I didn’t understand. I sat alone on the front stoop. My grandfather, who saw and knew everything, but said little, handed me a rubber ball. “Bounce it,” he said and walked away. I was sure he didn’t understand, but I did it anyway. Thump. Thump. Thump. They came from around the corner of the house. First Shawn. Then Kalee. Even little Patrick. We played for the rest of the afternoon. Sometimes even with the ball. 

There are so many options out there. Often too many. When it gets too much for my brain and heart, I remember the things I love. The people I love. I stop chasing, and attract.