Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…


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Precious Fields.

I suppose the closest thing we had to an “influencer” when I was in college was the purchasing of a used book highlighted in bright yellow. Being on a tight budget, I was often subjected to what the previous student deemed important. Perhaps it was defiance, or simply making my own path, but armed with my own highlighter, pink, orange, anything other than yellow, I colored over and in my deepest connections to the word. By the time the next student, spending their last dime to earn an education, opened the textbook, it would have been completely highlighted. Just as it should be, I thought, because wasn’t it all important! Every word a path lit fluorescent.


And I think that’s our real responsibility, not to push or “influence,” but offer a light. 

I’m reading a new book, This is Happiness, by Niall Williams. I’ve only just begun, but I am deep in the journey. This author demands that each word be walked carefully, like Hugo’s precious field behind our house on Van Dyke Road. No trampling through. Respectful of all that the ground had to yield, before and yet to come. With each paragraph, the golden crop brushes against my chubby thighs, leaving the safety of house toward the excitement of town. Tiptoeing out of youth, with its remains gathering in my shoes. 

I suppose I am a highlighter of word, and memory, and heart. Because isn’t it all important? Isn’t it all important!! I walk the new morning. The gravel in my shoes answers a bright and glorious YES! 


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Field of dreams.

I don’t know if it’s the chicken or the egg. People have always asked me through the years whether the words come first or the painting. I guess my only answer is that the story arrives, and it can take the shape of letters or landscape or limb, but it’s always in the shape of love. 

I suppose it’s all a practice. The more I see, the more I see. The same with memory. The most with love. What’s taught is what’s known. 

The fields are especially golden now in the south of France. But they aren’t the destination. No, people travel miles, continents even to gather at the feet of lavender. And it can’t be denied, it is lovely.  But wasn’t it my grandfather’s hand that gave me the gold? That first waved my hand over wheat, and in that swoop, painted me in? And it can’t be unseen. Unfelt. All that beauty. All that love. And in that same brush of the hand, my fields, my story, arrives on canvas. 

And maybe you see it. Maybe it tickles your palm, and you remember your grandpa, your neighbor, your teacher, or youth, and you wave it on, and on, and again, all the while humanity becomes a little more golden. 


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The golden blur.

In the springtime, when Hugo’s field began to turn golden behind our house on Van Dyke Road, and when the sun reflected off my winter white thighs, my eyes could barely adjust to the brightness of it all. For a few brief moments, blinded in the growth, I didn’t know where I was going, but I felt certain that I was on my way. 

He didn’t want us running through his field. To cut across would save only minutes in the short journey to town, and I can’t explain why we were in such a hurry, but it was so tempting. Maybe it was the promise of summer. The grain that brushed against our legs. The windowed storefronts that called to us. Come. Press against. See what’s inside. We’ve been waiting just for you. It was too much to resist, so we ran across his beautiful field toward the neverending promise.

I’d like to think we didn’t do any damage. And I apologize if we did. In this fever to outrun time — this time measured so clearly by the color of the changing field.  

It’s springtime in Provence. Purples and yellows bloom all around us, in a way that quickens the steps. My lavender legs still feel like running. But there is a moment when the morning sun comes through the window with a light that is so bright you can only feel it, and it tells me to stop. Stop chasing. Just be. Maybe it’s  nature Hugo-ing us to take the long way. I smile slowly. I’d like to tell you it lasts. But I cannot stop color, nor time. Or the need to travel through both. But I can tell you this, it’s in these brief moments, that I feel gratitude of peace, and the golden blur rests.