Jodi Hills

So this is who I am – a writer that paints, a painter that writes…


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Sitting with bees. 

Certainly they were attracted to us. Who wouldn’t be? Sitting on my grandparents’ front stoop. Surrounded by flowers and watermelon seeds. Slo-pokes and Sugar Daddies stuck to our hands. Of course the bees hovered around. I suppose it was instinct to wave our chubby arms in the air, to add screaming when that got them all riled up. 

Grandma Elsie could easily tune us out. Clanking the dish pans a little louder. Turning up the volume of the Hortons on Days of our Lives. But my grandpa couldn’t bear the piercing sounds. Never could. He walked purposely from the garage. We elbowed each other anticipating the incoming. His speech, unlike the growth around us, was never too floral. We listened. “You know how you sit with bees?” He asked. We shook our sun pink cheeks no. “You sit with bees.” Of course it took us a minute. He was halfway back to the garage before we started smiling quietly. And he turned out to be right. As we sat, no arm flinging, no yelling, the bees calmed in our calm. We sat with bees.

If I could elbow myself I would. I often forget. I can get myself so wound up in the buzz, which always makes it worse. But then on my best days, when I am more like him, I try to be the calm that brings the calm. 

Ever sticky with lingering youth, my heart smiles. And I am saved. I gently wave to the wisdom of his overalls. 


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Lifted.

We played a game at sleepovers, after the television screen went to a bullseye, and after all the secrets that a fifth grader could hold or even make up were released. Maybe it was because of all the junk food we had consumed, but we were never successful at “Light as a feather” — where we tried to lift a person with just our fingertips. And while it was true that no one ever left the ground, howling with laughter and pulling on each other’s mismatched pajamas, we certainly were lifted. 

I think we knew then, possibly even more than we know now, that it was always just about showing up for each other. Pushing, putting others down, was, is never the answer. Why are we still getting that wrong? The higher we go, the bigger the responsibility to lift others. 

And, oh, how easy it can be without the added weight of anger. Joy has always been light as a feather.

The song of the birds are tugging at my nightshirt. And maybe it’s childlike, maybe it’s naive, or maybe it’s just the lightness of joy, but I’m ready to step into the hope of the day. I still believe. And I am lifted.