I can’t say that I knew exactly what I was going to use it for, but I knew I had to have it, because it carries me through every day, lifts me, gives me hope and joy, sustainability — this recognition of the things that I count on.

At first I thought maybe I would click it each time I thought of her, my mother. Every time of the day that I smile or laugh because of her. Click on the hand-held counter each time I clutched my imaginary pearls in a warm memory. Because I imagine that’s what it’s for actually, this petite counter, adding up the repetitions that make you stronger. Then I thought, well, I could actually add my grandparents to that, my friends…all this love that I count on.

And then it occurred to me, this morning, at home, in our new time zone, how much I fall in love with on a daily basis. This good night sleep in my own bed. Click. Breakfast with homemade bread, and lavender honey across from my husband, smiling back. Click, click, click. This strong, fueling coffee. Click. These French and American flags that wave outside our morning window. Click. Click. The studio that waits for me patiently. Click. I guess it all adds up to gratitude. Thanks. Love. Click. Click. Click.

Maybe when the jet lag wears off, I will forget it. Which would be click worthy also. Maybe days will go by without a click, being lost in fun, or creativity. Or maybe when I need it most, just seeing it, sitting on a desk, it will remind me of all that I have, that I love…all the things and people that lift me on a daily basis. And maybe then I will give thanks for the reminder itself. Click.