Before there were iphones, earbuds, ipods…before discmans, or walkmans, I found a way to keep the music in my head.
I was only in the 4th grade. I didn’t have a stereo, or albums. But my sister did. I would sneak into her bedroom and play them over and over. To save time, I picked the same one almost every time – Joni Mitchell’s Court and Spark. I memorized two songs. Raised on Robbery, three minutes. Twisted, just over two. Five minutes of songs that have carried me through decades.
As with modern technology, I could play them while walking, or riding my bike. I didn’t need headphones, and I could turn them up as loud as I wanted, drowning out angered voices, the fears in my brain…or even just the neighbor’s lawnmower.
I found out pretty early the power that we carry from within. So far, all the things that I thought I would never survive — I did, in fact, survive. And more than that, because surviving is really only a minute or so, if it is anything at all…what really matters, is the living. Beyond blocking out the negativity, you have to find the positive. Hear it. The music in your head. The song that plays over and over, and sings, “Actually, I can!”
I sang along in the car yesterday to Joni’s album. A different time. A different country. A different fear that doubts if I can handle what lies ahead…
And as I dance through the lyrics, get lifted by the melodies, I know I can do this. My heart sings to my brain, “Yes, you can! Actually, you can!!!”