From 3:30am to 6:00am, I spent the time looking for my painting of Georgia O’Keeffe. In the end, I did find it. It was at another store, (in a chain of stores that I sold it to.) Sure it was only a dream, but it felt good to find it. We take our victories where we can.
And maybe it felt so good because before I had gone to sleep I was trying to fix something on my iPad. I didn’t. I even shed a couple of tears. I can see that it’s no big deal this morning, but in my defense, it was nighttime, when things always seem to be at their largest, and I was, in fact, just ready to be small.
In the book I’m reading now, Lucy by the Sea, by Elizabeth Strout, Lucy sits on her husband’s lap — she’s having a difficult time and needs a hug. Closer, she says. He hugs her tighter. Closer, she says again. He tells her the old Groucho Marx joke, “If I were any closer, I’d be behind you.”
And maybe that’s what we want. Someone “behind” us. Behind us. Beside us. The world is big, with big problems. And sometimes I think I need to be the biggest. And I wear myself out. But I had a thought — when we hug someone, we become twice our size. And if at twice our size, we helped someone else, at twice their size… well, you know what I mean, I don’t want to get into the math of it all.
I can’t fix everything. Sometimes nothing. But I’m a good hugger. And so easily, I can get behind you. Help you carry it, all of those big girl problems. I am here. With. Beside. Behind. Xoxo