For a brief moment when I was a young girl, I had a yellow bedroom. It was all mine. I got to pick out the carpeting and the bedspread. All yellow! It was the most cheerful place in the world. It was my world. Until one day, not long after, I could probably count the sleeps, I came home on my bicycle and there was not just a “for sale” sign next to the driveway, but it was flagged with “sold.” I didn’t know we were moving. I didn’t know the “we” only included my mother and I. The house, my father, the yellow, the cheer — all gone. For a long time I was sad about this. I didn’t want to love things. Afraid to love people, because they, like my father, could leave. They, like my house, my yellow, could be taken away.
But could they, really?
It took a while, as most good things do, but I came to realise, I still have the color yellow. I still love it! I love the cheerfulness. And so I paint it. I paint the lemons and the pears. The suns. They can never be taken away. The yellow on my pants, my canvas, my fingertips, my soul – all mine! Forever. My choice.
I didn’t know that yellow would not only give me joy, but freedom. The song is playing in my head now, “Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose…” And I don’t – have anything to lose. I am free. Free to love. Free to live. Oh, the yellowness of it all! I grab my brush and smile. I give my heart and beam.
I had a yellow bedroom. That will never again make me sad.
July 8, 2021 at 1:42 pm
Sometimes we feel like we have to give up so much but then something/someone comes along and fills the empty space and we are happy. And you have found that in your life.
July 8, 2021 at 2:48 pm
I have! xoxo
July 8, 2021 at 3:14 pm
I love the heart stories behind every painting. Yellow is good. It’s my favorite color too. xoxo
July 8, 2021 at 3:26 pm
We’re yellow sisters! xoxo