I didn’t understand it, even then. Older teenagers on the bus, they used to have a response when asked a simple question — “Well, if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.” My brain scrunched up behind my furrowed brow. But isn’t that actually the only time you would need to tell me, I thought.
This being said, it’s ironic that so many years later, there’s still a little part of my brain that can slip into that very behavior. I know I’m not alone, expecting that everyone would know my every feeling at every moment. It’s embarrassing to even type it. It’s a lesson to keep learning — this sharing of feelings, even when you think they should be so obvious.
They don’t know it’s Mother’s Day. In their defense, it isn’t, not yet here in France, not until the 26th. But my American heart, missing my American mother, knows that it is. It celebrates and hurts at the same time. So I tell you now — It’s my mother’s day! — C’est la fête de ma mère! And doesn’t she deserve two – at least!
Traces of salt slip into my smile. She would have never let me get away with saying something so silly as “If you don’t know…” — not then, and certainly not now. So today I will wear my heart on one sleeve and my mother’s on the other — proudly! You can join me — and once again in two week’s time. (Most likely, even tomorrow.) Happy Mother’s Day!
